Just thinking...

So. We are parents. This thought blows my mind almost every single day. The responsibility that comes along with it is so huge that it becomes too much to think about most of the time. Which is good, I think. Otherwise what would I become, if I thought of it always? A pile of worry, a giant heap of concern, regret, anxiety, guilt. These are the things that come along with having a baby that I hadn't thought about. The labor, the breastfeeding, the lack of sleep...all of these things I thought about constantly. What about all of the parenting pressures out there? What about the pressures you put on yourself? What about the insane responsibility to raise a wonderful, happy, smart, kind, joyful...child. I mean, I'm exhausted just thinking about the pressure, let alone from the actual weight of it. But the thing is, the thing is that it is so big, and if you really think about it too much it will backfire. If you read too many books, if you succumb to too many rules, if you focus all of your attention on doing it RIGHT you will inevitably do it WRONG. Being a parent is like being an athlete, there is only so much training you can do before you just have to trust yourself, and as they say "get into the zone". Confidence goes a remarkably long way as a new parent.  I have always been a part of the "fake it 'till you make it" fan club. And for us that has been paramount in surviving, no not just surviving, but thriving in the first 6 months of this insane adventure we are on. Oh yeah. It's only been 9 months. Which means we haven't even gotten to any of the Parenting (capital P) yet.  Which is even more mind blowing. That I could spend as much time as I do worrying about nurturing this amazing person and we have barely even begun.  Maybe I am writing this, maybe I am telling myself all of this as a reminder. In the future when the tough stuff happens I'll have the months and years behind me, a lot of training, and hopefully I'll be able to find this zone. Maybe if we just keep holding our heads up our little girl will trust us, we seem to know what we're doing. We appear to be capable, and to her that is all she needs.